I figured out why...

I can't get full sheets to fit on my full bed. UUUH!! DUH!! Because it's a queen!! We bought a new bunkbed for the boys and we bought a full on the bottom and a twin on the top. Thinking we were so smart about it because we already owned a perfectly wonderful FULL mattress. We got the bed altogether and I said, "That mattress isn't going to fit. Oh my word, I thought it was a full mattress but it is a QUEEN. No wonder I kept ripping the corners out of the full sheets." I thought maybe Walmart sheets were just cheap and too small because you know, you get what you pay for!!

DON'T READ THIS POST IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW...

all the intimate details of my down-there-doctor (dtd) experience. I'm warning you now. This is a bit on the embarrassing side.

Ok, today was my annual exam at the dtd. I really DISLIKE the annual but I'm trying to be a good citizen and mother to my children by teaching them that they should go to the dr for an annual I'd-rather-have-my-teeth-pulled-because-I'm-semi-out-of-it session. After waiting the appropriate time because everyone knows that when you go to the dtd you have to wait at least 2 1/2 hours to get your nerve up so you can stand the chamber of embarrassment, I got to see the dr. He did all the stuff he needed to then he ordered an ultra sound. NOW...the only reason I've ever had ultrasounds was to see if I was preggers, about the right time to get preggers or just after being preggers. So in my mind ultrasounds and pregnancy go hand in hand. The ultra-tech, Libby and I are chatting it up talking about kids and school and such when she says, "Well it looks like you get to start all over again." In your mind what does that mean. Start over again! Start over again!! What are you talking about. So I just flat out ask "Am I pregnant? Cuz that would be kind of on the miraculous side of things because even though I have all the right working parts, my husband has had a visit from the plumber." She said "Oh, NO. You're not pregnant. Sorry about that. I meant that you get to start school goings-on all over." They should have a course on what and what not to say when you go to ultra tech school. Sorry I had to be a little descriptive about mine and husband's workings but we got a good laugh out of it.

Bribing Santa

With a melted candy bar. Santa?? Really in the middle of August?? My kids are already hitting up Santa for Christmas goodies. This was Bode's idea of making sure he got what he wanted from Santa. The maillady wouldn't take it because it was too heavy, that's when I discovered that he had put a candy bar in it.

For all you record searchers

Disclaimer: I looked on Snopes.com and couldn't tell if this was a true story or not. It isn't true of the recent events that occured after Hurricane Katrina but if I'm understanding it right, a similar letter was written in the 1950's. Either way, it's funny!!

Subject: You have got to love this lawyer

Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership.
Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client:
You have to love this lawyer........

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to trackdown. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual reply from FHA):"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the titleback to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:(Actual response):"Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain . The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella. The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus 's expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?"

The loan was immediately approved. (These are the same geniuses charged with the Government mortgage bailout.)

River float

These pictures are all out of order. But here's our float trip at Island Park. I think we floated on the Henry Fork?? Is that right peeps?

You can see the Telford family in a little dingy that started taking on water. They abandoned it near the end of the river. Erica in her float fishing tube. She was frozen by the time she got out. And Summer and Erin, screaming the whole way.There we all go, down the river. The big raft with all the complainers. We ended up having to row backwards with Bret's legs hanging in the water so he could row on both sides. We also kind of sprung a leak which of course caused mass hysteria.

And we're off!!

The kids testing the water and getting on to their tubes. Wyatt looks a little cold!!Carrying the tubes to the river.Luke happy to be going floating.

Summer excited to get in the water.

Mijken trying to get the tubes to hold air. They didn't and the one tube that went down the river left a pretty good rash on Wyatt so don't use inner tubes for extended amounts of time on a cold river.Erin and Summer getting ready to get in the water. They mostly spent the day screaming and gave up their tube to a big boy because they both couldn't stay on it. Cole posing with his tube.

The girls getting ready to get in the water. They shared a tube too and it wasn't big enough for both of them. They got way behind and ended up getting out of the water early because they couldn't catch up.

Erin excited to go on the river.

Of course, the storm clouds started rolling in and kids started getting nervous. You mention something like the words "shark, Titanic, or bathroom" and there's mass panic. It was a little too long for the littler generation. Dad parked about 1 mile up from the end (maybe 2, I'm not good with distances) and our whole raft unloaded and went with him. It was a relief as Jen, Bret and I were paddling the raft the whole river. It lightened out load alot. We also had Erica strapped to the back of us and Mijken and Ryan were in a little dingy. But once we unloaded the criers, Mijken and Ryan climbed in the raft and we put the tweeny girls in the dingy and tied them way in the back behind us. Then we had 5 paddlers which made it so much easier. It was great fun. Just next time we need to remember.....NO WHINERS, NO CRYING, NO ASKING WHEN IS IT OVER, NO ASKING "CAN I GET OUT AND GO HOME" (when it's obvious that we aren't anywhere near civilization and they would have to hike through bear, moose and snake infested forest with swimming suits and either no shoes or flip flops on) AND NO LOLLIGAGGING!!

Hiking

Ren hiking hard. Jill stopping to get her picture taken.

Lizzie looking cute.

The many faces of Wes.

Another self potrait of Lex.

The teenagers Nacho Libre??

Emma and the group.

Brek hiking in flip flops and a hiking stick.

This is what most of my hike looks like because Brek walks slow and doesn't want to be picked up.

We've been hit

attacked by stomach flu. So far it's the Bret Nielson's suffering most. However, Sara has a sore throat. I'm just waiting for one of my kids to throw up in this pretty house!!

Island Park #2

As you can see, the girls had fun with the camera. This is Erin. She is 10.
We asked some locals where to swim and fish and we were told about this fun little pond. Jilly, Lexi and Justin testing the water.

The water was pretty cold. Jen and Lizzie hanging on the little beach.

Bode and Luke trying to catch a fish.The one fish that was caught. Actually I think there were two fish caught. They were both caught by Telford girls.

Wy testing the waters. Brrr cold!!

Brek fishing with a pole with a bobber but no hook. Good thing because he swung the pole around more than it was in the water.

Summer fishing. Not really I made her pose because she was always way far away from me.

Wyatt was paid $15 to swim across the pond. Wes joined in. It was really cold. I was too far away to get a close picture because I had tangled Luke's fishing pole into a huge knot. But there was alot of screaming and excitement.

Jen's parents live in a "gated community" and here is their very fancy gate. Kind of cool!!

Island Park

These pictures might be backwards a little. This is in Yellowstone, Erica driving from Greybull through the park and the buffalo were sharing the road. They turned a 4 hour trip into a 5-6 hour trip. Well maybe not the buffalo were the cause of the traffic jams, it was the rubbernecks.

Traffic jam in Yellowstone.

Mr. Buffalo sitting there enjoying his sun.The Maughans beautiful cabin. We are so grateful for the hospitality and kindness. Soooo much fun!!

Bode traveling.

Brek traveling with food.

Lexi self potrait.

There are pictures of Sum but at present she has the camera and is off taking more pictures so when I get a chance to see the pictures I will post more.

Advertisement for an orchard tractor

For Sale: Blue Tractor. Can be used for many things including but not limited too...
1. Spraying an orchard
2. Moving bins around the orchard
3. Mowing an orchard or other areas that a small tractor can get in to that a larger tractor can't, like your yard or pasture that has risers in it.
4. A form of transportation for your employees to travel from one field to another so you don't have to provide vehicles for them to drive.
And the lastest and greatest
5. To pull a much bigger loader tractor that isn't working?? around because it has the horse power to do it.Ok, these guys drive regularly past my house all the time going from one orchard to another. This was an interesting site this morning when I saw the small tractor pulling the big tractor. They were going VERY slow you know to be safe and make sure there were no mishaps. But why, why are they pulling this tractor behind them? It obviously works or they couldn't have gotten it on the trailer. If it just went to slow, they were going slow probably slower than they would be going if they were driving it. I know, they are doing an ad for Kabota!!! That's got to be it. I actually really like these guys. They always wave and slow down when they drive past and have even stopped and moved a child out of the road for me.

Waves of amber grain...

We are sitting in a firepit, woodbox, ashtray-right now because our wheat is on the verge of being ready to harvest. It looks beautifuluntil you see the kosha in the background. Yes, we have received a letter from the weed control that we need to take care of our weeds.
No fires allowed by our house for a while!!

Nothin' happening here

We really have nothing going on. We're not in charge of the 24th of July so we aren't doing anything with that. It is the boat races this weekend, don't know if we will go or not. Lexi's VB game got cancelled so don't have to do that. Really all we need to do is clean!! Bet my kids are goin' love that!!

The earings I chose were called Daisy Rainbow Crystals. I chose them because they were different colors and they matched with mostly anything.When I got my earings done I was shocked at how it didn't hurt!All it felt like was somebody pinching me.After I got my ears pierced they had to put that ear care stuff on and they made it drip so much that it dripped down my shirt!After they put the ear care stuff on they told me that I had to wait 6weeks!Then they told me what kind of earings that I could wear.They told me that I couldn't wear any fish hook earings only straight post earings.After they told me all the information we looked around their store and found cute earings and some pretty sweet hats.Okay so you want to know why I didn't cry?It was because 2 people did it at the same time!!

Summer's b-day

Here's the one picture I have of Summer's birthday. We celebrated at Gma Nielson's house with Kache and Ryder and Dallie. She got make-up, nylons, a dress and someday, maybe, if we ever make it to town-her ears pierced.