I have the greatest job in the world: Christmas EVE

You know you're a REDNECK if/when

*you spend more $ on getting your dog's leg fixed because you ran it over than you do on your house.
*you drive a harrowbed to school instead of riding the bus.
*your husband takes your child to WALMART with a shirt and underwear on, NO PANTS!!
*your prize cow falls through the bottom of the junky trailer you put it in so she could meet the bull next door and breaks it's leg and has to become hamburger while your nice fat steer lives a longer life because you don't need the meat now
*your neck is actually red (from working in the sun)
*you have a wheelline parked over your driveway