Red Letter Day

This is a red letter day, not that I want it to be but here we are living this moment and many moments from the past year. This date June 22nd, a year ago, Kollin was killed. It seems like just yesterday and also like it was a long time ago because so much has changed. Sara and Luke moved to Delta and then to Provo. Kollin's beautiful headstone was placed. We have a new baby. This time last year, we were just getting used to the idea that a baby was coming. I needed to go do all my lab work and had to go to town the day Kollin was killed. I called a few select people. Jenny because I was supposed to watch her kids or something and couldn't, Jill Mathews and Michele. I learned about 7:30 that morning that he was run over by a drunk driver. I was a wreck right then and like 5 people showed up at my house, Michele Casper, Jenny Hokanson, Mike and Joyce Rowley and the Bishop. I was sobbing because I had just gotten off the phone with mom telling her about some of the details of the accident. It was terrible. Then that next week was a whirlwind of emotion. My parents drove to Seattle and Sara's parent's flew to Seattle. Greg and Brooke were there with Sara and Luke. We didn't go to Seattle until Sunday. I felt like I really wanted to take the Sacrament. I think in Sara's ward is when the choir sang that beautiful hymn that I have come to love "Come thou fount of every blessing" They said everytime that someone arrived into Seattle, the crying would start all over again. Two things happened to me today at church
1. It was Cale Yount's Homecoming and I just kept thinking that Kollin had given his Homecoming report in Heaven to his Heavenly Father and a huge congregation of loved ones and friends. And a scripture stuck out to me that Cale quoted.
2. Mosiah 14:4-5 "Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."
Oh how my heart aches. Not that I don't think I will see Kollin again or that I don't think he's in a better place. Most days are ok. I can get through but some moments are very difficult to see the end, to feel peace or find peace and understanding. I ache for Sara and Luke and my mom and dad. I wish I could take their pains on me and yet someone has done that for them, Our Savior. Christ has born those pains and sadness. He has bought us with his blood and with his stripes we can be healed.